‘I think they did it on purpose’: My dad and stepmother caught COVID-19 from her family — now he’s dead, and she’s in assisted living with her assets under their control

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Dear Quentin,

My father married a wonderful woman about three years ago; Both were widows and were in their 70s and 80s. The woman was prosperous – not wealthy, but had many rental properties, investments and cash on hand. My father was comfortable and had no financial worries, and was able to afford vacations and other things to extend retirement.

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The woman had one child, a daughter who was adopted as a young child. The daughter made it clear that she did not approve of the marriage and considered my father to be a gold digger.

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Fast forward two years, well into the COVID-19 pandemic. My father and his wife sent a message to all the family members that they are going to spend the holidays alone in their house, and do not want visitors due to COVID-19 concerns.

The woman’s granddaughter had COVID-19 and was visiting her grandmother; daughter also came

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Shortly after this meeting, Dadi (my father’s wife) was diagnosed with COVID-19, and she was very ill. My father came down with COVID-19 a day or two after his wife.

,‘Within weeks after my father’s death, the daughter had gone to her mother’s lawyer, and declared the daughter incompetent as her guardian.’,

I went to his house to take care of him, as he could not find anyone to do so. The daughter was recovering from COVID-19 and the granddaughter who probably gave them all of COVID-19 was unwilling to help

My father died and his wife survived. Within weeks of my father’s death, the daughter went to her mother’s lawyer and declared her incompetent, with the daughter named as her guardian.

I went to collect some of my father’s belongings and saw his widow. She was using a walker, her hair was tangled and she was completely under the control of daughter and granddaughter.

He had molested her to such an extent that she gave up. First, she got in her car and drove about 300 miles to a relative’s house trying to fight the takeover. Once they took her back, it was all over for her and there was no point in her life.

The widow was quickly moved to an assisted-living facility, with all bank accounts and assets under her control. Granddaughter was set up to manage the household and is being paid about $2,500 a month to do so.

They did not manage to kill my father’s wife, but they did kill my father. The end result was what they wanted: all the money and property, and my father out of their lives.

I think he did it intentionally. I believe they knew he had COVID-19, and they knew that my father and his wife did not want visitors for fear of being exposed.

devastated and angry child

dear devastated,

The bitter truth is that you can never know their intentions. What we do know: A visit to this home with the frail and elderly can’t be undone. Regardless of how your stepmother’s granddaughter and daughter behaved after your father’s death, and how they may have taken advantage of his illness and isolation, their motivation will be unknown. My first and last advice is to deal with what you know, and don’t allow these doubts – no matter how real they are – to overwhelm you completely.

In addition to contacting you with the National Center on Elder Abuse, a government agency affiliated with the U.S. Administration on Aging, and the nonprofit National Adult Protective Services Association, there are steps you can take to report suspected financial elder abuse. Will provide resources and support for steps. The stepmother’s primary physician. Elderly abuse affects an estimated five million Americans each year, according to national council on aging, and many agencies say the number of cases is rising and under-reported.

a call to adult protective services A visit to your stepmother’s home in your state, or even by a social worker, may be enough to sound alarm bells. The best solution may be an independent power of attorney, who has no vested interest, who can help take care of her home if she becomes disabled and/or when making long-term health decisions. This is more important than the inheritance, and for this he will need money. Maniest’s files are filled with letters like this woman who felt like a prisoner in her own home.

You do not say that your stepmother’s daughter has a power of attorney over her affairs or has taken over as custodian of her property. The former is usually voluntary and is usually established before the person becomes disabled. It is also revocable. A stereotype, on the other hand, is more complex. A petition to court usually requires a guardian to be taken, and this requires the gathering of expert witnesses and documents. The powers conferred under a guardianship are immense and it is often an uphill struggle to undo them.

A doctor or psychologist is needed to rule out disability. “An adult is considered disabled when they have lost the ability to make rational decisions for themselves and/or to communicate their decisions with others. Some of the most common cases of disability include Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, mental retardation, old age, or coma. Including adult living in According to the law firm Jackson White, “Note that it is possible for someone to be partially disabled, to the extent that they can still make some rational decisions but need help in other areas.”

I am very sorry that your father died of COVID-19, especially because it could have been avoided. Unfortunately, people—sometimes, but not always, young people—feel invincible and don’t think of other people as weak. Despite the death of more than 837,000 people in the US alone, the disease and its consequences remain intangible to them. Some people even use fake vaccine cards so that they can go about their lives without experiencing the inconveniences of vaccination. I hope the choices here provide some sort of roadmap for helping your stepmother.

IYou You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to the coronavirus at [email protected], and follow Quentin Fotrell Twitter.

check out The Maniast Private Facebook Group, where we seek answers to life’s most thorny money issues. Readers write to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you’d like to learn more about, or peruse the latest Manifest column.

Dhani is sorry that he cannot answer the questions personally.

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